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Written by Maria Serra

Lawyer and mediator

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Article written by

Maria Serra

Lawyer and mediator

Family lawyer and mediator in Barcelona

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Royal Decree 463/2020 of 14 March, declaring a state of emergency in Spain, as amended by Royal Decree 465/2020 of 17 March, provides in its Article 7 for the movement of persons on public roads for the purposes of attending to and caring for elderly persons, minors, dependants, persons with disabilities, or particularly vulnerable individuals.

Within this regulatory framework, it is understood that parents may carry out the custody handovers provided for in respect of their shared children, on the understanding, however, that these should take place in accordance with public health recommendations, particularly those aimed at protecting the health of children and adolescents (hereinafter, "minors").

At this time, the guidelines, recommendations and information issued by the health and civil protection authorities constitute the standards to be followed by the general public. They should therefore be observed as carefully as possible in order to minimise the risk of the virus spreading. Article 44.2(b) of Law 14/2010 on the Rights and Opportunities of Children and Adolescents establishes that "every child or adolescent has the right to receive preventive measures aimed at preventing illness and its complications, and at reducing exposure to risk factors affecting their health".

During March 2020, the family law judges of Barcelona reached and ratified an agreement applicable to the state of emergency period, subsequently adopted by various courts across the country, which resolved the following:

1. That the declaration of a state of emergency does not justify non-compliance with court orders.
2. That parents must comply with the rules issued by governmental and health authorities in order to prevent the spread of coronavirus, ensuring that parental responsibility is exercised responsibly and reaching the broadest possible agreements

2.   Psychosocial guidance for families

As professionals working in the psychosocial field, we are aware that we live in a complex, pluralistic and multicultural society, shaped by a wide range of coexisting values and moral identities that inevitably influence situations such as the one we are currently facing. With this in mind, we would like to offer families some guidance to consider when assessing the risks associated with children moving between households.

The exceptional nature of the situation we are experiencing calls for an equally exceptional approach, and requires a collective effort from everyone involved in order to

manage arrangements in a way that is carefully tailored to the needs of children and young people at this time. We believe these recommendations can help families determine the most appropriate course of action regarding their children's transitions between homes, with the aim of establishing the option that best respects and prioritises the children's interests, in accordance with the principle of the best interests of the child, and therefore placing children's rights above those of adults and taking those rights into account when making decisions that affect them.

2.1         Key risk situations

• Carers who have tested positive for the virus. This represents the primary risk situation, both for the rest of the family and especially for children and young people. The need for isolation must be taken into account, along with the difficulties or practical impossibility of providing adequate care for the children.
• Children who have tested positive for the virus. Where a child shows symptoms of illness or there is reason to suspect they have contracted the disease, both parents and carers are obliged to follow and comply with all health authority guidance regarding the child's care and recovery, including any required medical appointments or hospital admission. It is important to remember that the other parent must be kept informed, as this is a matter of fundamental importance.
• Situations where confinement is not possible. Consideration must be given to situations in which carers are unable to remain at home (for example, due to work obligations), as this increases the risk to the children.
• Living with people over 65. Risk must be carefully assessed in households where people aged over 65, considered a particularly vulnerable population, live or are cared for.
• Suitable spaces for contact and residence arrangements. Particular attention must be paid to situations where there is no suitable home available to receive the children (public spaces have been prohibited for interpersonal contact).
• Children's transitions, transport and distances. Where transitions between households take place, these must be carried out in a way that ensures the greatest possible safety for the children. It is important to bear in mind that long-distance travel, whether by public transport or on foot, may pose a risk to children and young people. The number of planned transitions, the distances involved and the mode of transport to be used must therefore all be taken into account when making decisions.

2.2         General guidelines

• Addressing the emotional impact

• For children. Given the extraordinary situation we are living through and the significant emotional impact it is having on everyone, including children, it is important that parents are able to provide their children with guidance to help them understand the current situation; to give them the tools to make sense of the changes occurring in their daily lives, and to explain any possible disruptions to their usual family routines and relational dynamics that may arise as a result.

How can we support children and young people?

• Clear, simple and concrete information is needed, tailored to each child's stage of development and delivered in a reassuring way.
• Information should be free from negative messages and should convey a sense of safety, calm and reassurance that the situation is temporary, all with the aim of reducing distress and minimising any potential negative impact on children.
• Shared information: it is important to give a consistent message, as this avoids confusion and distress and builds trust and security. If one parent is unable to maintain contact with the children, the reason should be explained clearly, offering words of comfort and establishing alternative means of communication.
• In the case of children with sufficient maturity and adolescents, their opinion must also be sought and taken into account.
  • In the parents. The moment of uncertainty and complexity we are experiencing may lead the key adults in children's lives to adopt maladaptive strategies and to make decisions (out of fear, insecurity, a need to feel close, etc.) that are not well suited to the interests and protection of children and young people. This is especially true when they are in the midst of a separation process or a conflicted relationship.

The following should therefore be considered:

In the case of parents without custody of their children, certain feelings of anxiety and/or uncertainty are natural and legitimate in situations where contact with children is limited, as are feelings of unease, concern for their well-being, or even discomfort and frustration at the restriction of contact.

In the case of parents with custody of their children, feelings of tension, overload, worry and/or distress may arise from having to face the care of their children alone, with no in-person support or relief. The stress on the primary caregiver must be taken into account, given that we do not yet know how long this situation will take to resolve.

What can help us?

• It will be essential to value co-responsibility and mutual understanding among adults during difficult and complex times for everyone in society. To this end, it is vital to acknowledge and validate the experiences and feelings of all those involved.
• Actions such as facilitating communication, offering help, keeping the other parent informed about the children's well-being, and reaching agreements and consensus can only benefit the children and bring relief to the parents who are not with them.
• Striving to reach agreements is more important than ever, particularly because, in doing so, a message is sent to the children that does not add new sources of anxiety to those already present in the uncertain situation they are experiencing, and because it shows them that adults know how to adapt and be flexible when necessary, offering positive role models.
• In front of the children, parents who respect each other and reinforce each other's parental authority provide a safe and positive model, which strengthens the security of the children's attachments.
• If reaching agreements becomes difficult, we recommend seeking paths to consensus and the assistance of professionals specialised in mediation, family relationships and/or

How to seek help?

• If you are looking for specialist support, remember that there are many professionals available in both the public and private sectors who can advise you. At present,

a number of professionals and services are offering support by video call or online.

• Remember that if you are already receiving support from a specific service, you can always consult your usual professional (psychologist, social worker, social educator, etc.).
• You can also contact the Mediation Centre of Catalonia: dj@gencat.cat

2.2.2.     During communication between children and adults

It is equally important to ensure that children and young people maintain regular contact with the other parent, being present and able to communicate in a straightforward, accessible and interactive way with their children. This exceptional situation may give rise to feelings of uncertainty, fear or anxiety in children, and maintaining this contact can help to dispel concerns about the wellbeing of the other family member or the wider family.

What can help us communicate better?

• Routine in communication matters. It is best to schedule calls at the same time each day, with a frequency that is appropriate to the age and needs of the children.
• When setting the frequency of contact, it is important to take into account the individual needs of the child, their age and their specific circumstances. As a general guideline, young children require more frequent contact and shorter calls, whereas teenagers and young people can manage more spaced-out contact of a somewhat longer duration.
• Wherever possible, it is beneficial for some communications to take place by video call, depending on the age and developmental stage of the children, so that parents and children can maintain visual contact. In addition, other important elements of communication include tone of voice, gesture, prosody and so on, all of which play a significant role. This is precisely why, during these days, people are maintaining so much interpersonal contact by video call: because it makes us feel closer to one another.
• Contact with the wider family should also be maintained; these relationships are important, as they form part of our children's heritage, and it is also good for them to feel close to their grandparents, aunts and uncles, and cousins.
• Agreeing on a communication schedule that respects everyone's needs. It is advisable to establish shared communication arrangements between the

Communication is more than just talking!

It is truly important that the communication space be a rich and meaningful one, where people feel genuinely "connected" to each other. This is an especially important point for the youngest children, as children communicate, learn and interact through play.

Sharing leisure time with your children strengthens emotional bonds and facilitates communication. We know that interactive, shared activities make communication with children more engaging and meaningful for them.

How to interact and play via the internet?

• It is important to prepare for the moment, just as you would for any other time spent with children; certain activities you want to do should be planned in advance, or
• You should familiarise yourself with the system to be used for the video call, running tests beforehand (to adjust image, sound, and tools such as screen sharing, etc.).
• It is important to keep an open attitude (gestures will likely need to be clearer and more expressive), to tap into your creativity, and to exercise patience, adapting as you go based on what works and what
• It will be necessary to adapt the game to the child's age and to the medium. Many classic games can be adapted for video calls (singing or dancing to a song, doing puppet shows, telling stories, playing I Spy or Rock, Paper, Scissors, etc., or even online games for older children). It can be helpful to search the internet for ideas and tips!
• A good starting point is to begin with games that are already played regularly during in-person contact, and then gradually adapt them to the online format.

2.2.3.     According to age

It will be important to take into account the age, developmental stage and general wellbeing of the children, as well as their need for contact. A baby is not the same as a young child or a teenager; each age and developmental stage has its own particular needs.

When communicating, according to age:

• With babies, it is important that they are able to hear the voice of the absent parent. At this age, sensory memory plays a fundamental role, and even if it may not seem so, the child already registers and recognises certain voices and sounds. Communications should be shorter and more frequent.
• With young children, bear in mind that communications based on play, and on sharing spaces and activities together (doing homework, reading stories...) are more meaningful and satisfying for them. At this stage, establishing routines is essential; this means maintaining regular schedules. These schedules will help build habits that allow the child to incorporate calls as part of their daily routine, they will be able to anticipate when calls will happen, which fosters feelings of security and calm.
• With teenagers and/or pre-teens, on the other hand, the frequency of calls should be adjusted and agreed in line with their

2.2.4.     Based on the specific needs of the children and young people

As with the previous section, it is important to take into account any special needs the children may have (disabilities, psychiatric conditions, behavioural difficulties or illness). It is important to be able to evidence these situations.

How can we support children and young people with specific needs?

• For children who need routine, meeting that need must be the priority in order to safeguard their wellbeing. It is more important than ever that communications are specifically predictable and follow a regular schedule.
• Bear in mind that, if the children are receiving support from specialist services, many of those services are currently providing telephone follow-up and can always serve as a point of consultation. The professionals involved in these services can always guide families

on specific permissions or guidelines, depending on the particular needs of the children and young people involved.

2.2.5.    In cases where Child Contact Centre Services (STPT) have been put in place

It should be noted that Child Contact Centres (known in Spain as STPT) remain closed for public health reasons. This affects a number of particularly complex situations, including those involving gender-based violence. In such cases, wherever possible and provided no other risk factors or express prohibitions apply, it would be strongly advisable to seek, by mutual agreement, some form of contact (for example, by telephone), especially if the child or young person is willing or interested in doing so.

3.   Conclusions

This guidance document is the result of collaborative work and consensus among the various psychosocial practitioners who support judicial proceedings in both the public and private spheres. It brings together a set of criteria for families to consider and weigh up, with the aim of helping them make decisions regarding their children during a moment as exceptional and complex as the present one. These guidelines complement and build upon existing court agreements.

The most pressing issue, and the principal aim of this document, has therefore been to reconcile, from a psychosocial perspective, the principles governing the enforceability of court orders with the fundamental right to the protection of public health and, above all, the overriding value of the best interests and protection of children and adolescents.

This situation will undoubtedly improve, and we will all draw lessons from it for the future, not least the value of human relationships and interpersonal bonds.